Kristin Cavallari says marriage to Jay Cutler was ‘toxic’ and ‘unhealthy’: ‘I was really unhappy’

Kristin Cavallari talks divorce and comes out in a new interview, including how she won’t be getting back together with old flame/new podcast partner Stephen Colletti.

The reality star honestly answered all the questions about the She called her dad podcast, including the harshest ones — about what made her marriage to former NFL star Jay Cutler “toxic,” a word she’s used to describe him in the past.

“Well, here is my only thing because I have three children with him,” o Very Cavalier alum began. “I’m very careful what I say — if you and I don’t have microphones in front of us, I’d tell you — but this is their dad and my oldest at Google now and I just want to be very careful. My mom never said anything bad for my dad growing up [after they divorced] and I really respected that and I want to be that kind of mom.”

That said, “It was toxic. Period. End of story. That’s all I have to say,” the 35-year-old replied.

MANY KNIGHTS -- Episode 206

Kristin Cavallari and ex-husband Jay Cutler Very Cavalier. (Photo by Jake Giles Netter/E! Entertainment/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images)

Cavallari said that when she and Cutler met, afterThe hills after a few years of partying, “At the time of my life, he was perfect for me,” saying it was “easy and fun.” However, he also talked about “red flags” and “dealbreaker” behaviors.

“I left [our] engagement [in 2011 for] the same reason I got a divorce,” he said. “The same reasons to say. So I guess if there’s anything other than that it’s: You can’t ignore the red flags.”

They announced their split in 2020, but say it was too late. “It took me a few years to pull the trigger to be honest with you,” he said.

Uncommon founder James called the divorce scary, sad but also “the best thing… With any relationship, you just have to realize what the dealbreakers are for you… and I was really unhappy. That was the bottom line. And I was in a unhealthy relationship. So, for me, it’s not worth it. I also didn’t want my kids to think this was normal. I wanted them to see me happy and to see me — not now, but eventually — with someone who really respects me and I am treated as I should be treated.

Since then, she’s back in the dating game. Despite the toxicity, some dates were with her ex-husband. She’s also shared a kiss with ex-Colletti, her high school boyfriend, as well Laguna Beach fans remember and co-host her new podcast, Back to the beach with Kristin and Stephen.

“I went to dinner with him almost two years ago and we kissed, which was fun,” she said of the Colletti reunion. “I was actually dating someone at the time… [and] I’m just making up for lost time — so… it didn’t turn into anything.”

She claimed this is the end, saying: “Once I’m done with someone, I’m done. It’s like a light switch that flips and I can’t go back.”

She had many fun dating stories, both from the past to the present. In one, she talked about a date two months earlier with an “actor” she didn’t recognize. The meeting went horribly wrong – in the middle of a busy LA bar/restaurant.

“He was knocking back drinks,” she recalls. “We were sitting at the bar. It’s packed. He gets up to repeat a stunt he’d done [and] accidentally bumps into the waiter and says, “Oh, I’m so sorry.” I was like, Please sit down. It’s creating all this turmoil in the middle of Laurel Hardware.”

She also talked about being chased by younger men.

“I’ve attracted a lot of men in their twenties,” she said. “I don’t know what this is about… You know I have three kids, right?”

For the record, Cavallari said 30 is her minimum age, while a 45-year-old businessman who isn’t on social media is her ideal. It showed Alexander Skarsgård, his Big Little Lieslike her celebrity.

Cavallari also said that a man who’s secure in himself is essential — as well as someone who’s okay with dating men who get a “taste of fame and lose their minds. They’re almost addicted to it, or it’s really threatening.” … They get really jealous and insecure.”

He also wants to make the first move — though not, we repeat, not via DM.

“Where I’m at right now in my life, I want to be chased,” he said. “I want to be flirted with. I want the guy to put in some effort. Because guys now — again, I’ve been with Jay for 10 years, this is my first time out in the social media world — it’s like, it sounds like shit out there . I hate every second of it. But men are lazy now — and they’re always looking for the next best thing. So it’s like, no sorry I don’t have time for your bull*** anymore. I want to see how serious you are and make the effort .So no, I’m not making the first move.

“I’m such a different date now,” she said. “I see s*** a mile away and it’s like, no, I’m actually not going to take it.”

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